Monday, May 16, 2005

Scolding-like-your-mama: the new editorial voice


Fugly Lindsay (picture stolen from Go Fug Yourself)

Go Fug Yourself has a fabulous exegesis of Lindsay Lohan's current "look" (ashy-blond, bony-ass, as explained below) which takes the approach of scolding her like her mama shoulda done. ("You just look so messy, sweetie. And you're such a pretty girl . . .") This works because it frees the Fuggers from their sometimes oppressively mean (although always funny!) tone and allows them to mix real affection ("You used to be so adorable!") with the bitchiness ("Young lady, do you know who you look like with your hair like that? Are you ready for this? Hilary Duff.") This prose style also has the bonus of giving the reader an automatic nostalgia trip, because who doesn't remember her mother telling her she looked "like every skinny blonde starlet in town"? Um. Or whatever. Anyway, I totally advocate that other opinion writers/ pick up on this approach. For instance, today the NYT had an important-but-boring editorial called "Justice Under the Microscope"--but wouldn't it have been more compelling as "Governor Warner, Sweetie, You Disappointed Your Mother When You Nearly Executed that Innocent Man, But Now That You Have Ordered a Review of That Crime Lab I Just Could Not Be Prouder"?

Thanks, Mom, I thought you'd like it.

5 comments:

Toolstein said...

Doesn't Lindsey realize that men love redheads? I don't get it.

T&A Lady said...

Ahhh, Toolstein, how bizarre that I should say this, but if only Lindsay were basing her decisions on what men like--then at least she'd eat.

brother person said...

Men likey food.

And men likey hacky sack.

Therefore a good invention would be a deep-fat fried hacky sack. Mmmm . . . Kickin' . . . .

Toolstein said...

A deep-fat fried hacky sack and a redhead to dine with.

Anonymous said...

God love you, I always knew you'd finally realize that Mother does know best. Um.