Tuesday, June 28, 2005

A strange new relationship with William Rehnquist

A silent, mysterious man

I have spent the last two days repeatedly reloading Google News to see if Chief Justice Rehnquist has announced his retirement from the Supreme Court. But nothing! I'm starting to feel like the dumpee in a breakup-by-no-return-phone-calls situation. I'm all, like, He can announce opinions 'til the cows come home and even crack little jokes about them, but can he make a teeny announcement about his future plans? Like, "Yes, retiring" or "No, not retiring"--is that so hard? How could he not say ANYTHING? How could he just leave me here wondering what's going on with NO EXPLANATION AT ALL? Doesn't he CARE how he's affecting my LIFE? How could he possibly think that that hideous bleached-blond Texas A&M sorority girl is in any way preferable to ME?

Ummm. Anyway. I hope he'll figure it out soon.


Anonymous said...

It appears from your photo that Rehnquist has already left the Court, and Skeletor has ascended to the bench in his stead. Andrea

Anonymous said...

She was in no way preferable to you. Sorry for being such an inconsiderate asshole. B