Thursday, June 30, 2005

The marriage and uncreative names department: Bennifer II


Awwww

So apparently Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck got married. Not very shocking, what with her being (now officially) knocked up and all. I am basically happy for them and even have some faint hope that their relationship will last, because I hear they are both nice people. For real: I know two separate people who separately knew them (or at least knew OF them) in high school, and both separately say they are nice. Yeah, that's right, I'm THAT CLOSE to fame!!

Of course, they should both stop making hideous movies. If they want my advice, which they don't, but if they did, Jennifer would be a superhero only on Alias, make like Halle Berry is about Catwoman by making fun of herself for doing Elektra, and otherwise make medium-sized movies like13 Going on 30, which was fairly enjoyable and showed her to have good comic timing. Ben is a trickier matter--everything he's done in recent years has utterly sucked. However, if he returned to his roots of playing slightly dumb, very flat-affect-having guys--as he did so well in both Dazed and Confused and Good Will Hunting--I think he could get the I-only-do-one-thing-but-I-do-it-well kind of thing going on, a la John Wayne or early Kevin Costner.

That advice is my wedding gift to you, Bennifer II!

2 comments:

Dan said...

Now that they are married, I think we should use their last names: they are hereinafter Mr & Mrs. "Garfleck". Or "Affner".

Bennifer II just cheapens their love, no?

Also, running off and getting married is soooo 2004.

Toolstein said...

Maybe Ben should give US a wedding present and stay out of the public eye for a while. Oh, and he should shave, too.