TomKat Lives in our imaginations

TomKat has been strangely silent of late--it's been almost a month since Tom dissed any well-loved actresses for courageously getting help for their suicidal depression, and weeks since Katie showed she is a few cans short of a six-pack in an interview for W. I was starting to miss their antics. (Also, as you may have noticed, their absence was causing me to think more about work than about celebrity gossip--always a dangerous trend.)

But, thank God, helpful surrogates have stepped in to fill the void that the real TomKat has left in our lives! For your reading pleasure, I present McSweeney's "A Wedding Toast by Katie Holmes's Former Best Friend" (not really written by Katie Holmes's former best friend):

Well, um, hi, everybody. I'm Becky, Katie's oldest friend from Toledo. It's just so great to be here celebrating Katie and Tom's marriage. I mean, I can't believe it! Tom Cruise! I mean, I totally remember a picture of him she had hanging on her bedroom wall. Well, I guess it was more of a side-column interview next to this totally HOT feature on Brad Pitt, but whatever. Oh my God, we had such a crush on Brad! Do you remember that, Katie? Huh? Oh, right, I mean, yeah, it was a really long time ago . . .

(Thanks for the tip, Andrea!)

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