Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Mr. Cakelove becomes celebrity, breaks hearts

So, for a lot of this year my man-friend (that's not him on the left) has been kind of obsessed with Warren Brown (yeah, that's who that is). Brown is a former disgruntled attorney who weaned himself from the teat of Mama Law and followed his dream by opening Cakelove, a very successful bakery, on U Street in D.C. a couple of years ago. Since my fella has been having a touch of disgruntledness himself, Mr. Cakelove's story was kinda inspirational (not to mention yummy).

Last night, though, everything changed. Whilst watching Alton Brown on the Food Network, we saw a teaser for a new food show starting in the fall called Sugar Rush, hosted by none other than Mr. Cakelove.

My boyfriend was crushed. He went through the seven stages of crushedness within a few minutes: shock, disbelief, factual acceptance through Google search, staring at wall, depression, decision that Cakelove cupcakes aren't really that good after all, changing channel.

Why, you might ask? If a former lawyer with a bakery is an inspiration, why isn't a former lawyer with a bakery and a TV show even more of a role model? After many seconds of contemplation, I have to conclude it's because now Warren Brown is no longer a real person; he's morphed into a celebrity, a superstar (yes, it's just a Food Network show, but this is D.C.) and unless you are kinda crazy, becoming a superstar does not seem within reach.

So, fly high, Mr. Cakelove, but in your shiny new life with the Food Network, take a minute to think of all the disgruntled lawyers whose hope you've taken away. Perhaps you could compensate us with a free cupcake.


tsvidogg said...

If T&A's very kind recitation of my complete mental breakdown was not enough to convince you that I am totally correct, consider this:

Why is Batman the biggest badass superhero? Because unlike every other superhero, Batman has NO superpowers. He isn't some spider creature, he won't turn into a big, green monster, and god knows he doesn't walk around with a harpoon-hand communicating with fish (oh, Aquaman...)

The only thing super about Batman is his heroism (and, apparently, his unbelievable capacity to hold a grudge and seek vengeance... but whatever).

I mean, sure Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. That's great for him. But I can't even leap short buildings in multiple bounds (nor can I scale them with super sticky finger... you get the point). So why would I even bother to TRY to leap a building, if it is just not in the cards for me.

So there you have it. Thanks, Mr. Cakelove. I might one day have viewed you as an inspirational figure in my life. But now I know I will never be a Mr. Cakelove. I'm even sliding back and beginning to wonder whether you really ever were disgruntled as a lawyer. On the contrary, I'll bet you were an awesome lawyer--very hard working, happy with your job, and incredibly competent. (sigh).

The fact that you were coming out with a Cakelove cookbook should have tipped me off. But now a Food Network show? If I dare say, that show is just the icing on the cake. As my dad once said to me--well, I guess he said it more than once--you are dead to me.

Toolstein said...

You know, the cupcakes weren't ever really THAT good anyway.

Tzvidog- you should pick up Tony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential (which I'm sure you've read anyway). He spends a whole lotta time attacking (the admittedly awful) Bobby Flay and Emeril and Wolfgang for becoming prima donna superstars. And then what does he do? He writes another book about his culinary travels through the world, lets the food network film it, and then spends the book (and the series) criticizing TV producers. And now he's ended up, of all places, NOT behind the stove at Les Halles but on the TRAVEL CHANNEL.

These folks suck in general. But Tony is still one smooth-ass mofo.

jcat said...

I hope this doesn't mean that the service at LoveCafe will get even worse. I mean, I don't know how that could be possible, but you never know...

TK said...

And, let's face it, isn't $7 for a slice of cake a little on the pricey side? Even if their carrot cake is pretty fabulous. Mmmm...carrot cake....