Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Be still my heart: Brangelina buys in DC

Omigodomigodomigod, Brangelina has apparently bought a house in DC (link via Wonkette).

I wouldn't want to overstate the significance of this, but this is the biggest thing to happen to Washington since they paved over a swamp to create the seat of a new country. I envision a whole new District: No longer will our "celebrity" sightings have to include the caveat "famous for DC," and never will "Arlen Specter's hair has really grown back fast" have to pass for local gossip. DC's human beauty capital will increase approximately 4,000% (here is my evidence), sparking a dramatic increase in fashion self-awareness--an "and they saw that they were naked" kind of deal, except instead of resulting in fig-leaf loincloths and exile from paradise, this one would bring about a mass spontaneous rejection of pleated pants, navy blazers, braided belts, and low sensible heels. Finally, I wouldn't want to get ahead of myself, but once the eye of the world turns to DC, could voting rights be far behind?

God bless you, Jolie-Pitts, and welcome, Gorgeous New DC.*

*Yes, I'm listening to the State of the Union, but if the President can ignore a failed war and the total devastation of an American city, I can definitely ignore a crappy little speech.

3 comments:

Mr. A said...

It is generally unkind for NYC people to make fun of DC people (in mixed company at least). But I cannot remain silent: your evidence that DC is hotness challenged has placed the extent of the problem into stark relief. One of DC's 50 most beautiful people, Calvin Davis (page 5 I believe), appears, for example, to have no eyes. and he doesn't pull it off in a calvin "nontraditionally hot" davis kinda way. tragic. as for your wonkette debut -- you have truly arrived. bravo!

Anonymous said...

So, what is wrong with pleated pants? [Perhaps you can overlook for the moment the possibility that they might be khaki.] Pleats, in pants or kilts, can cover up those slight imperfections some of us acquire as we age. Please?

An Iowa pleated pants kind of guy.

T&A Lady said...

Dear Dad, Do not worry, my criticism of pleated pants was not directed at you. Your style is impeccable and beyond reproach. Love, T&A Lady