Tuesday, December 20, 2005


I have been a fan of Nerds for a very, very long time. One of my first experiences of financial and gastronomical independence from my parents came during an Odyssey of the Mind competition in the 5th grade, when I bought approximately 5 boxes of Nerds and ate them in the space of a few hours. Ahhh, freedom! Nerds were also the first Valentine's Day gifts I got from a boy. Ahhh, young love, how you resemble candy!

ln recent years, however, my Nerds consumption has dropped precipitously. Soon after college I got several cavities, and an enterprising dental hygienist identified my slow but steady consumption of sugary candy as the likely culprit. For the sake of my health-care budget (and, admittedly, the size of my butt), I instituted a policy, to which I have been fairly good about sticking, to eat candy only when I go to the movies and during road trips. I didn't intend to cut out Nerds in particular, but due to the lack of Nerds vendors at the gas stations along many major highways and the fact that Nerds are disruptive during movies (shaking the candies out of the box makes a sound like maracas, dontcha know), that has been the effect.

Last night, however, a dear friend gave me two boxes of Nerds as a gift. And what a gift! (Gifts, of course, are another exception to my general candy moratorium). In honor of this occasion, I would like to share with you a haiku* dedicated to Nerds:

Bright sugar crystals--
What joy you bring to my mouth!
And holes to my teeth.

*Edited to add: Thanks to St. Scobie's Mock Whisky for the haiku idea.


Toolstein said...

Here are two more haikus for you, T&A.

T.A. Girl loves sweets,
But Odyssey of the Mind?
Who knew -- she's a dork!


Christmas gift for me?
A non-brainwashed Katie Holmes.
Yeah, that would be sweet.

T&A Lady said...

Right back atcha:

Toolstein calls me dork
The pot calls the kettle black
(Or is that racist?)

Do they even have Christmas?
Poor preggo Katie

Anonymous said...

Have you ever tried the Nerd Rope? It is so delicious...yum!

caitlin said...

Ahhh nerds.
My babysitter in third grade used to have nerds. She would watch MTV, and share her delicious candy with me and my brother. Which was nice for two reasons: one, my mom was at that time a health food fanatic, and the only sweets we ever got to eat were things like banana chips, and carob covered raisins; two, I had a massive crush on the babysitter.

Oh, Babysitter
With nerds and high, hair-sprayed bangs:
give me some candy?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous tip for T&A Lady re: blogger Toolstein .. he used to read the encyclopedia for fun. :) Who is the dork/nerd now?! Also, my office has something called Mix-Ins or Mix-Its in the vending machine, and it's a combo bag of Nerds, Tart 'n Tinys, and Runts. Deliciousness!

Sita said...

I have the same rule as you, t&a lady, about candy. My secret snowflake at school gave me a giant bag of skittles, though, so I went buck wild yesterday!

Orange skittles how
Your juices bring joy to my mouth
I feel cavities!

Joelogon said...

Mmm, sugar-coated-sugar. I think you might like to see my blog entry and photo set -- Joe