Take Joe Jonas. People.com tells me that he wrote a masterpiece of a public, passive-aggressive, confessional missive, sort of to his fans, but really to his ex-girlfriend, Taylor Swift:
Several things I will state with all my heart ... I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me.Ahhh, the lack of proper nouns! The "maybe"s! The vague, veiled barbs stated with "all my heart!" It's a masterpiece . . . but who the hell are Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift? My lizard brain tells me they are singers of some sort, but that pretty minimal information to get excited about.