Wednesday, November 23, 2005

"They were all hungry": The Chris Klein Is Kidding Hypothesis

Normally I wouldn't spend more than a few minutes thinking about Katie Holmes' cast-off B-list Poor-Man's-Keanu-Reeves ex-boyfriend. However, in one of those weird collision-of-separate-lives incidents, the Chris Klein interview I blogged* about earlier this week showed up in an Elle magazine that existed in physical form in my very own bathroom. Small world, huh!?!!

Anyway, since I was a captive audience, I read the whole thing, and upon doing so I got the sneaking suspicion that Klein's whole "I'm A Big Asshole" thing might be a meta-joke of sorts. So you can judge by yourself, here is some more of the interview:
Q: Is there a dish that you prepare to impress women?
A: I don't need to impress, man . . . At the end of the day,
she's cooking the food.

Q: What's the one thing you could tell a woman to convince her that
you aren't Paul, the thick jock you played in Election?
A: "Hello." . . . You start making eyes across the room. Right then it's
not a Paul Metzler situation. It's a predator-prey situation.

Q: There's a lot on the web about you being a devout Christian.
A: That's because I went to Texas Christian University . . . The
ratio at TCU was three women to one man. It's an expensive
school, full of daddy's little girls. I liked it when they called me Daddy. And they did, too, because they were all hungry.
(Emphases added in case you don't feel like reading that much.)

"They were all hungry." I mean, gracious. It isn't really possible that one fairly bland-seeming individual could pack so many forehead-slappers into a single interview unless he was trying really hard, is it? Or is this one of those things that shows I've been living in a blue state (OK, fake state) for long enough that I've gotten stupid and fooled myself into thinking that people are basically reasonable? Is Chris Klein trying to tell me to leave DC?

Just one more mystery to ponder in the midst of your turkey/trytophan stupor tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving!

*Omigod, I used blog as a verb! Welcome to the 21st century, self!

1 comment:

tsvidogg said...

I have two comments, but I can think of no transitional sentence to link them together... so you'll have to suffer numbering:

1) Be It Resolved, that T&A Lady shall no longer use the word "asshole" in the same sentence--nay, post--that she refers to how much time she has to spend on bathroom reading.

2) I maintain that Chris Klein was not joking in that interview, but I know that intoxication and incompetence can both be defenses under the law in certain circumsances... surely there's precedent to support a "stoned idiot" defense.