Monday, October 15, 2007

Ranking the candidates

The process of carefully considering who to vote for in EW's Ultimate Hotties contest has led to me consider which candidates to support in other areas of my life.

For a long time, my Celebrity Crush List stood as follows:

1. Marky Mark
2. George Clooney
3. Bill Clinton
4. Snoop Dogg
5. (blank--so as to allow for flexibility)

Loyalty is all well and good, but the CCL is one area in which it does nobody any good, because if you hang on to old choices out of sentiment, inevitably you will find yourself being propositioned by Clive Owen in some smoky club, only to realize you're shit out of luck because Clive's spot on the list is being occupied by Marky Mark because of Three Kings, but that was in 1999, for Chrissakes.

(One of the major rules of the CCL is that it must consist only of the current incarnations of actual people--so no 1999 Marky Mark, no Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke, and no Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights, unless you want the actor who plays him, whose name is Taylor Kitsch and who used to be an Abercrombie model, tragically.)

So, yes, Marky Mark, I'm afraid it's time for you to go. I'm happy for you that you're becoming a respectable actor, but to the underwear models go the spoils, my dear.

Similarly, when did Bill Clinton get so old?

Snoop Dogg . . . I don't know, at one point I found you Oddly Alluring, but now you seem to have passed over into Mostly Disturbing.

OK, so here is my revised list:

1. George Clooney
2. Clive Owen (If you haven't seen Children of Men, you should. I do like me a good depressive antihero in a dystopian setting.)
3. Rahm Emmanuel. (See reason from #2).
4. Prince Harry. (This is my first foray into younger men. What can I say, I'm 30.)
5. (blank--don't want to tie myself down)

Perhaps next week I will think about those other candidates.

4 comments:

Andrea said...

At one point, my CCL was Rick Schroeder, Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, C. Thomas Howell and Rick Schroeder. Can you guess how old I am? If I may, my revised CCL:
1. Matt Damon, now and forevah.
2. George Clooney
3. Anderson Cooper (I know, I know)
4. Barack Obama
5. Clive Owen, without even seeing Children of Men.

Toolstein's Co-Pet Owner said...

T&A: Rahm Emanuel holds a place of distinction on my List, as well. In fact, I have a feeling that if I ever met them/saw their pictures, the brothers Emanuel would occupy at least two if not three out of the five spaces on my List. Excellent choice.

Also, I recommend for your viewing one Mr. Gabriel Macht. He is an obscure actor in fairly obscure films and is also married to the gorgeous (though only-famous-because-of-reality-tv) Jacinda Barrett, but I do not care.

T&A Lady said...

You both make sound suggestions. If I were going to expand my list to 10, I would certainly consider Matt Damon. I think I find Jacinda Barrett to be prettier than Mr. Macht, but that could also be because she is the only Real World character in the last 10 years who seems like a fairly cool person.

Tim said...

Well, Book and I live in Emmanuel's neighborhood here in Chicago, so there's a good chance you could see him at our local coffee shop if you coordinate a visit based on the legislative calendar.