Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I wanna be like Lorne Michaels when I'm old

I was surprised to read about the large number of people Lorne Michaels has banned from Saturday Night Live. I knew about Sinead O'Connor being banned for ripping up the picture of the Pope, but I kind of figured that was just evidence that the Vatican controls the world (in cahoots with the Trilateral commission, the United Nations, Jewish bankers, the Illuminati, and Satan, of course). But it appears that Lorne himself is a banning machine, and most of the offenders haven't challenged the powers that be, they've just been drunk (The Replacements), difficult (Steven Seagal, Robert Blake, Chevy Case), or guilty of "mugging for the cameras" (Frank Zappa, Milton Berle).

The thing is, I totally want to be like Lorne Michaels someday. Not when I'm a regular adult, because acting like a huge diva is just annoying unless you're Naomi Campbell, but when I'm reaalllly old--I want to look like Miss Havisham and act like a petty, melodramatic despot. So watch out--if you get on my bad side now, in 60 years I will totally ban you from my nursing home!!

2 comments:

Andrea said...

When I lived in Chicago, there was a (true, as it turned out) legend that this guy Steve Albini, who played in indie bands Shellac and Big Black and produced Nirvana et al, had a "negative guest list" at his shows of people who weren't allowed in to see his bands. I agree that it would gratifying to reach a stature in your field where you can just ban people from being near you. That, and a NY Times obituary, are what I aspire to.

jen said...

the grand ole opry has a fine ole history of banning folks. wanda jackson, kitty wells, hank williams. snl just wants to be country.