Sunday, January 07, 2007

End times and Commies

Yesterday--January 6--it was in the mid-70s in D.C., so Mr. T&A and I went for a bike ride around the mall. Here is a picture we took of a cherry tree at the Tidal Basin:

Needless to say, cherry blossoms should not be blooming in January. It's obvious that Al Gore was totally right and the end is nigh, but it was all very lovely.

Later in our excursion, we saw the following poster in front of the National Gallery of Art:

It says "Prayers and Portraits: Unfolding the Netherlandish Diptych." Very tricky use of words that nobody knows, but I see through the ruse: clearly the Netherlandish Diptych is the international world leader who will appear to be the world's savior but will then institute the one world government that will clear the way for Satan's rule. However, as eschatological signs go, it was not unpleasant (certainly better than an earthquake); I might even go see the exhibit.

Since it was shaping up to be an apocryphal kind of day, and I suspected that we should prepare ourselves for the future, less enjoyable aspects of the apocalypse, we decided to go see Children of Men last night. Alas, when we got to Gallery Place, both parking lots were full, and street parking was nowhere to be found. I was crestfallen, but realized that it was kind of poetic justice: here we were, driving to see a movie to educate ourselves about how the earth will destroy itself. Chastened, we came home and watched Talladega Nights, which is not nearly as good as most Will Ferrell movies. (Another sign, perhaps?)

In order to bolster our spirits, we made ourselves festive beverages: White Russians, in a liquid homage to The Big Lebowski. However, because of my lactose intolerance we have switched to soy milk, so it didn't really seem right to call them White Russians. What do you call a soy-milk drinking hippie who wishes he were a Russian? A Commie*! We've got ourselves a delicious new signature drink.

So, altogether, I am feeling pretty good about the beginning of the end. Welcome, 2007!

*An after-the-fact Google revealed that others have already named the White Russian made with soy milk a "White Vegan," but I would rather accept the mark of the beast and condemn myself to an eternity of hellfire than throw in my lot with vegans, so I am going to make like an oil executive at a climate change conference and willfully ignore this new information.


Secret Rapture said...

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!
My Site =
Your jaw will drop!

T&A Lady said...

Should I be flattered or concerned that a crazy but articulate alien god who likes Zoolander is commenting on my blog?

Mr. T&A said...

You know, I would have thought Secret Rapture's post was spam, but the comment is actually quite topical for a post on the end of times.

Also, T&A Lady. Never fear that I subconsciously slipped you a White Vegan. Our Commies had a drop of lard in them to add a bit of depth.

Secret Rapture said...

Thank you both for your kind comments on my site.