Where am I?

The phenomenon of neighborhoods with existing names getting new, sexier (or less dangerously-connotated) names seems to have taken over DC to the extent that I have no idea where I am. Like, I was just trying to use Yelp to come up with places to eat lunch that were near a Blue/Orange line metro stop downtown. My theory was that I would search in the relevant neighborhoods--Downtown, Metro Center, Farragut, K Street. . . but none of those neighborhoods exist in Yelp. I tried to think of synonyms--Lafayette Square? White House? Nope. The neighborhood list is littered with names I am pretty sure are in other cities, or perhaps are retirement communities: West End, NoMa, Ivy City, Gateway. Can I rename my neighborhood WeTargetNoPark? (West of the Target, North of Park Road, of course.) (Just kidding, Mount Pleasant, I wouldn't do that to you. Even if you do sound totally like a retirement community.)