Blogging for the third day in a row, non-chart edition

As Andrea noted, blogging is hard. My mom is participating in that write-a-novel-in-one-month thing this month, so it's pretty embarassing that I am having a hard time writing a blog post on this, my third straight day of blogging. But that's why the glib chart form was invented:

In: The health care floor debate

Five Minutes Ago: Election coverage

Out: People sawing their own limbs off

In: Preachy vegan yoga instructors

Five Minutes Ago: Doctors who specialize in "spirituality and health"

Out: Evangelicals

In: Blogging every day

Five Minutes Ago: Watching less TV

Out: Regular exercise

Non-chart!

It contains few words, and thus much wisdom. (Right?)

In: Dark and stormy

Five minutes ago: Blue Moon

Out: Tequila sunrise

In: Cylons

Five minutes ago: Blackberries

Out: Hal

In: Absentmindedness

Five minutes ago: Procrastination

Out: Incompetence

More optimistic non-chart

My last post was a smidge depressing. (Don't worry, Mom and Dad!) So people don't go taking away my belts and hiding the knives:

In: Sing for Obama!
Five Minutes Ago: Brief-writing for clients
Out: Talking to myself

In: Gardening
Five Minutes Ago: Decorating
Out: Makeovers

In: Relief
Five Minutes Ago: Anxiety
Out: Boredom

Tragic non-chart o' unreasonable work schedule

In: Work taking over life
Five Minutes Ago: Looking for "life's work"
Out: School

In: Missing the daylight
Five Minutes Ago: Missing the cherry blossoms
Out: Missing TV

In: Take-out Taxi
Five Minutes Ago: Frozen pizza
Out: Eating dinner with other people

Non-chart: Optimism edition

Not sure why I'm feeling so bloggy today after weeks of radio silence, but there you are. Here's a non-chart (you're supposed to pretend like it's in a 3x3 chart, see):

In: Enjoying the weather
Five Minutes Ago: Worrying about global warming
Out: Snow days

In: Obama in '08!
Five Minutes Ago: Kerry in '04!
Out: Bush

In: Friends with babies
Five Minutes Ago: Friends with kittens
Out: Friends with driver's licenses

First non-chart of 2007!

The non-chart is baaaack! Last year I got into kind of a thing about "In/Five Minutes Ago/Out" charts, which idea I ripped off from Entertainment Weekly. Despite its various new upgrades, Blogger will still not let me make an actual chart, so use your imagination to put this into a 3x3 spreadsheet format:

In: Hilarious Alec Baldwin
Five Minutes Ago: Washed-up Alec Baldwin
Out: Hot Alec Baldwin

In: Decrying real-life torture
Five Minutes Ago: Enjoying TV torture
Out: Torturing bugs

In: Discretion
Five Minutes Ago: Confession
Out: Repression

The wisdom of the non-chart

Again it is time for a brief amount of thought which you should pretend is in chart form:

In: Pitying Britney
Five Minutes Ago: Worshipping Angelina
Out: Identifying with Jen

In: Reproduction
Five Minutes Ago: Renovation
Out: Reinvention

In: Anti-estate taxes
Five Minutes Ago: Anti-gay marriage
Out: Anti-sex

Another non-chart!

I quite enjoyed my last foray into imitating Entertainment Weekly's In-5 Mintutes Ago-Out charts. The format lets you bring up topics that are floating around in your head without going to the trouble of linking them to other topics to form entire thoughts, and also to make dramatic declarations without having to defend yourself. Hence:

In: Demishton Jr.
5 Minutes ago: Brangelita
Out: TomKitten

In: Bratwurst
5 Minutes ago: Tater tots
Out: Homefries

In*: Solipsism
5 Minutes ago: Ontology
Out: Magnanimity

*The point at which I start using words whose meanings I don't know.

Poor imitation of retired Entertainment Weekly item

One of my favorite things in the paper version of Entertainment Weekly used to be The Shaw Report by Jessica Shaw, a.k.a. the "In/5 Minutes Ago/Out" chart. Every week there were 3 columns and 3 rows of pithy, insightful, clever brilliance. Recently they've shrunk this to 3 rows, 1 column, and it's just not the same. Thus, here's my homage/cheap knock-off, sans rows and columns because charts are not Blogger's bag:

In: Warrantless wiretapping
5 minutes ago: Three-way call ambush
Out: Quietly picking up the phone in the kitchen

In: Britney as maternal ideal
5 minutes ago: Britney as Child Protective Services case
Out: Britney and Madonna

In: Lime
5 minutes ago: Celadon
Out: Moss