News about Katie Holmes has become so bizarre that it seems impossible to link the pieces together into any kind of coherent narrative. Thus, I will just update you on the relevant information, and allow you to form your own Rohrschact-esque impressions of it.Katie's ex-fiance, Chris Klein, who previously seemed like the good guy who got away, turns out to be a massive asswipe, telling a magazine he's an "alpha heterosexual" who won't put up with his girlfriends gaining weight: "I'm not tolerant of that at all . . . When a woman isn't feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she'll ask you if you like her body. You have to say no."
Tom bought Katie a $20 million jet as a wedding pressent.
Katie has decided to quit acting to stay home and raise her Cruise spawn.
Finally, Katie got kicked out of a movie theater because she was disturbing other movie-goers by holding a vibrating mechanism to her stomach, in an effort to soothe said spawn.
The all-purpose Rosemary's Baby explanation helps some, but even it fails on the jet front. This is a complicated case, Maude. I'll let you know when I manage to sort it all out.
(This very strange picture comes from here).
3 comments:
She's dead to me. But I'd take a ride in her private jet anytime.
"She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man!"
Somehow I felt more lebowski was needed.
Not sure how it relates to Katie or her fetus, but you can draw your own conclusions. or not.
I'm all over a little extra Lebowski, EXCEPT when it in any way equates Crazyman Cruise with Lebowski (with their both being inseminators and all). Ewwwww!
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